Waiting

Fear of the unknown is universal. No matter how we try to calm ourselves, there is always lurking, at the back of our minds, dread that something we don't expect is waiting for us. Today we finally meet the neurologist to learn what the MRA really showed, what it was that caused Dr T to call, after sending us home, to say he'd referred me to Neurology. Because there was such a lack of haste in setting the appointment, I am assuming that there's nothing really wrong, that the chronic ischemic changes are just typical for my age and probably the result of migraines and not TIAs. That is what I want to hear. The MRI eliminated the big four causes, the huge monsters of tumor, stroke, aneurysm, MS, so that what is left is only tiny monsters, white blobs on photos of slices of my brain. What I really expect is to be sent off for more testing, with few answers today, just more questions. Nevertheless, my heart is racing a bit as I wait for this day to begin.